Shadow

by Mister Lies

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1.
08:13
2.
04:34
3.
03:56
4.
5.
6.
05:16
7.
8.

about

A shadow can be defined in several ways, the most common being the dark area produced by an object caught between a surface and a source of light. To others, the word “shadow” is used in reference to proximity, ominous conflict or gloom. When I think of shadows, I don’t think of depression or shade, but instead the sensation of their presence.

I wrote and recorded this album during a two-year period where I was discovering motivation out of naivety; when the Mister Lies project was established I was writing music without context or a deeper understanding of the craft and I felt like I had nothing to write about. But as time wore on and I connected with more people, I quickly began learning. Moreso than the themes of loss, addiction or alienation, this record is about change. It is about looking the fourteen-year-old version of myself in the eyes with his headphones on, completely oblivious of his future in the passenger seat, and putting your present self’s cards down on the table.

It doesn’t take an infringement on our sense of security to realize that we’re always being followed. Even when we’re the least aware of it, we are never truly alone. Shadows are our companions, there is optimism in the dark.

Nick Zanca
July 2014

credits

released 28 October 2014

'Shadow' was written and produced by Nick Zanca
between June 2012 – April 2014
in Chicago IL, Ludlow VT, Vancouver WA
and several bedrooms and hotel rooms in between.

Track 5 was written with Harrison Lipton
Track 7 was written with Malcom Lacey

Nick Zanca – voice, laptop, bass, piano/Rhodes/Wurlitzer, Prophet/Casio SK-1/Yamaha DX-7, VHS, Machinedrum, guitar
Malcom Lacey – voice on track 2 and 7, Baldwin organ, guitar pedals, percussion
Ansel Cohen – cello on tracks 1-3
Lexi Bodick – upright bass on track 1 and 7
Harrison Lipton – atmospheres, voice on track 5
Bridgette Lemoine – voice on track 5
Zechariah Lacey – piano on track 7
Alex Thompson – atmospheres on track 8

Mastering – Warren Hildebrand
Artwork, design and photography – Brian Vu

Thank you to the Orchid Tapes family for letting me talk too much,
to Malcom Lacey and Patrick Snead for providing workspace,
to Nolan Andrea, Rafa Alvarez, Marcel Everett, Warren Hildebrand, Owen Mallon and Sam Ray for creative input,
to Chris Crowley, Julia Duray and Katie Zanca for emotional and logistical support,
and to all the listeners.

This album is dedicated to Richard Roy (1931 – 2013), whose whirling lingered around the room long after he left it.

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Track Name: Deepend
Expectations low. Stoned stung and jet-lagged.
Pay the taxi fare (don’t know how we go back).
You’re staring at a screen with all the rats you smell.
No talk of where you’ve been, you’re homesick for a hell.

A stranger with a smile has paid you a visit.
Your skin is for the show and they scalped the ticket.
Our friends have turned their backs but (somehow) that’s okay.
Balance the bona fide from those that we call fake.

Don’t pull me up. I would drown happily.
They are the deepend and I’ve forgotten how to breathe.
Track Name: New Woof
I look at photographs you took and pretend I'm in them,
but nothing here is going to stop the fact I'm leaving.
Your closet door is closed tonight. Your nose is bleeding.
You refuse to change your mind and this is why we can't have nice things.

You're not getting older.
Go hide behind her shoulders, but you're not getting older.

(I'm) amazed that you'd still share the bed, but I'm not bitter.
While I resist the urge to laugh, you smoke down to the filter.

This is why we can't have nice things.
Track Name: A Room Without
Dust filling the room.
You knew that you would wake up and you'd hear this news.
The lights are dead. You felt it underneath your bed: "get up".

Change the sheets.
"He'll make a good ghost," you say, then you grab your keys.
The drive is loud. It rained all the way to Taylor's house.

I'm not sure what to say.
There will be an answer soon, just not right away.
What happens now that the voice that you pray to is praying back?

(Come back.)

You came up for air.
Track Name: High (ft. Harrison Lipton)
On your best behavior.
On your last of nerves.
Down to your last paper.
You get what you deserve.

Tell me, is this still high enough?

Within your indecision,
see nothing's turned to dust.
Show a little backbone.
This ribbon's barely cut.

You must trust yourself before they can trust you.
Track Name: Pill
Scared of what your heart will hold, I take my first step towards you. Too much time spent tonight holding our breaths, so Ii’ll toss and you –

1: –fetch.
2: –turn me inside out.

Scared of the consequences that will come with skin and bone,
but if bodies are temples I'd best make yours my home.
Track Name: Stuck / Ouija Fade (ft. Arrange)
Trouble always comes. We turn back to habits formed and know they can’t be cut right away. The cold lacks the sting it did before, and we breathe a steadiness just to settle down.

/ / /

Go punch a wall of bricks.
When you finally break through,
you'll learn the truth about those
that you once looked up to.
Your knuckles bruised with blood.
They’ll point at you and laugh,
but your shadow stuck this time.
You were born to last.
Track Name: Push Becoming Shove
I guess this just wasn’t enough.
Slow down before they suck your blood.
It won’t be long 'til they find out who ghostwrote all your fake memoirs.

It’s tough to make yourself sound smart when all you’ve got's a microphone.
My legs were both broken at birth.
Excuse me if I should stand up.

Do you care to walk the plank with me?
Are you sure?